When I realized that I would be spending a significant amount of time in Rhode Island, I began looking for a deck that reflected the spirit of the state. My go to deck for California is the Gaian Tarot and I wanted something that fit Rhode Island as well as that deck fits California. I spent a lot of time searching for the perfect deck. I even expanded my deck to all of New England and still nothing. I searched for Salem decks and nothing.
It was only that Yemaya started calling to me in Rhode Island that I realized that New England is all about colonialism. It was in Massachusetts that the Wampanoag people met the pilgrims and then were decimated. And Rhode Island had the largest slave trade in the colonies at one point in time. It began coming into focus for me that I wasn’t going to find a pretty little deck of oceans and trees to represent Rhode Island, I was going to find a hard core deck that was going to take me to places that hurt.
I’m choosing to read with this deck for July 2023 as I’m realizing that I can’t celebrate the 4th of July anymore. It is no longer about patriotism for me as I realize that our founding fathers were fighting for freedom for white men while enslaving others. I’m also seeing the giant step back that our country is taking by taking away abortion rights and threatening LGBT rights.
First Impressions: I love that this card is Frida and Diego. They are a much more realistic couple than the typical young lovy dovey couple as they went through hell, but still ended up loving each other.
Guidance: The road may be tough, but there is friendship and possibly love at the end.
Journaling
The two of cups for me is about love, relationships, and equality. It is about coming together and meeting your soul mate. What I love about this particular card is that Frida and Diego had a tempestuous relationship. They fought, they cheated, and they came back together. What I don’t know is if this card is cautionary or aspirational. I could take it as cautionary and as advising me to go into things with my eyes wide open. And it could also be about setting boundaries and not letting people walk all over me. My marriage to J. was horrible and I should have set better boundaries and I should have walked out sooner.
I’m not doing that again. I don’t need to put up with that kind of garbage from anyone. I don’t need people who ghost me for a month, then think I’m going to be there for them. That doesn’t work for me. I need people in my life who are truly there for me, who want to work things out, who love me. I deserve to be loved and to get there, I need to love myself first. I do believe that everyone deserves love, but I don’t need to accept crappy behavior from people to get love.
Wow! Actually writing that and meaning it is a big deal for me. I’ve always thought so little of myself that I’ve always defended people who have treated me poorly. I don’t need to do that anymore. I can love me better than anyone.
Where I’m At: I slept super late today and I was supposed to have flown to the airport today, but my flight was canceled due to bad weather in Boston. Delta put me on a flight in the middle of the day tomorrow which would have meant I would have to reschedule everything. They also refused to reprotect on a JetBlue flight. I ended up cancelling my entire trip and then having to rebook. What a pain.
I wasn’t too unhappy about not having to fly today as it gives me time to sit outside and just chill out. It also gave me time to finish my paper. It is not the best paper I’ve ever written but it does show my understanding of the class material.
The unfortunate part about chilling outside is that there is an air quality alert and after chilling outside, I ended up with sore lungs.
Weather: It was nice out today and not too hot but there was an air quality alert that is making it hard to breathe.
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent 2%
Sunrise / Sunset: 6:04 / 8:59
Gratitudes
I’m grateful that Sean got me Swensons
I’m grateful that I got my paper finished
I’m grateful for the yummy apple struedel
I’m grateful that Wendy is not too sick from eating the green beans
I’m grateful for the opportunity to chill out in the back yard
I’m grateful for the sweet rose incense
I’m grateful I got to spend an extra night at home