I, unfortunately, let a lot of people take up space in my head rent free. There’s my ex husband, and his girlfriend (when he had one), my mother, and most recently a guy I sorta like, but he who is definitely not good for me. Some of these people, like my mother, take up space in my head through their deliberate cruelty, but others are there because I invite them in and think about them obsessively. Obsessive is my thing and there are days I obsessive over people like a teenage girl constantly asking if someone likes her. I’m digging into why I do that, but that’s a story for another day.
The Frank in my meditation is Frank Reagan, the patriarch of the Reagan clan, and the Commission of Police in New York on the show Blue Bloods. He is kind and gentle, but is a definite bad ass when he needs to be. In my meditation, he shows up wearing a long leather coat while his body guards stand in the background.
When someone intrusive, or someone I am obsessed with, comes calling and they are stuck in my head, I invite Frank to escort them from the premises. I started this meditation when I was constantly obsessing over my ex-husband and his girlfriend. It really bothered me that he was with someone and I was still alone. When they were in my head, I would visualize them coming over and knocking on the door to mock me. Then I’d have Frank show up and escort them from the premises. If they went willingly, they’d just be escorted off the property. However, if they were particularly nasty, I’d have him and his team throw them face down in dog shit. I know, not a very nice thing to do, but the man put me through hell and that little mental revenge helped me tremendously.
I’ve also used this meditation on my mother, but unlike my ex, she had managed to make it inside my house and was haranguing me about how I needed to change my life to better fit her model of life where the woman took care of the man. When Frank escorts my mother off the property, she usually protests that she has every right to be there because I am her child. However, he nicely reminds her that I am a grown ass woman and escorts her off the property and stays watching for a bit until she gives up and goes away.
My obsessive little brain has finally decided that I need to escort this guy I’m obsessing over off the property. He makes me feel like a teenager and not in a good way with his subtle flirting. However, he’s bad for me personally and professionally and I need him escorted out of my head. For the most part, he’s ousted himself from my real life because he said something stupid in an email and wasn’t happy when I talked to his boss about it. However, because he’s stepped back, my stupid little brain is obsessed. Similar to my ex, it is all my own obsession that is giving him space in my head.
I started my plan to oust him from my head with a burning spell where I wrote him an email, the universe an email, and myself an email explaining why it was not my job to heal him. Then I burned it. That’s helped tremendously, but he still keeps showing up in my head. So now I’ve just got Frank on standby to escort him off the property. The funny thing is that he’s nowhere near as persistent in my head as my mother and ex, so he generally just shows up at the door, Frank tells him to go away and he does.
I’m not exactly sure why this trick works to get him out of my head, but I am so thankful that it does. But when I am obsessing, I just think about Frank and it works.